Busy bee

Life is quite hectic...it's already 5:30pm and all I've had to eat today were some grapes and a can of Progresso's Italian-wedding soup. I have been listening to a lot of Bon Iver - the little calm in my life that I have found time for. For Emma has been on repeat all day...AND I LOVE IT.

Too bad I didn't know about him earlier. He was at the first-annual 2008 Outside Land's Festival that I attended in SF. Unfortunately, I didn't know...therefore, I did not see. I'd love to see him live.

The first of many things

Documentation of some of my "firsts":

My first car.

My first roommate.

My first roommate with my first (real) boyfriend...sorry Cary, sorry Allen!

My first pumpkin carving (right). Derek's first time too, actually (left).

[Spiderman & Hello Kitty]

My first self-carved Halloween pumpkin, in action! Oh, HERROOO KITTY!

=]

Updates, goals, and random tidbits

22 credits in 10 weeks. phew...crazy, I know! But, definitely doable. I've been tackling homework sets on Fridays and working diligently throughout the weekend.

ON A RANDOM NOTE: I want to study abroad........and the following countries are locations I am considering:

-Hong Kong

-Costa Rica

-Beijing

-Shanghai

-New Zealand

-Sweden

-Denmark

GOALS:

-4.0

-devise and implement a useful and meaningful senior project

-develop fluency in mandarin

-improve communication skills, both in speech and in writing

-get back into shape...lose the excess LBs

-travel & experience new things

-intern internationally and locally

-study environmental law and policy

-read more for fun

CURRENTLY:

-writing a paper on the privatization of natural resources, focus on water

I JUST FINISHED WATER FOR ELEPHANTS BY SARA GRUEN AND IT WAS AMAZING!

Names that I will potentially name my future children:

Girls:

Mika

Rosemary

Harlot

Aubrey

Kendal

Kiera

Boys:

Collin

Taylor

Riley

Shane

Jared

Sean

I NEED A BICYCLE..............

and parking tickets can ruin a perfectly good day. BOO!

On a side note: I <3>

WOW MY ROOMMATE JUST TALKED IN HER SLEEP o.O HAHAHAHA "SHAME SHABOOGAME....WHY?" direct quote from Khara Schmitt

Lost in Textology

Steph Lee (my sister) text messages me on September 26, 2009 9:50:21 PM (that is September 27, 2009 12:50:21 AM New York time) with the following message: Are you still dating Derek? BC Dre and I met a 23 year old dude who is pretty cute for you...

I reply: Hahahaha what are u doing talking to 23 year olds???! Yes I still am dating him

Last time I talked to my sister via text message, she bitched me out and I called her a bitch. I can't help but to assume that she was being sarcastic.......seriously, I bet she just met a a fugly dumb fuck and the first thing that came to mind was, "Oh, he'd be perfect for my little sister!" Unfortunately, I will never know...sarcasm doesn't exactly translate easily in text messages. Who knows, maybe she was being completely serious and I just missed out on my chance at NY's finest.........hah! Doubtful.

**UPDATE**

Three more received texts from my sister.....I'm starting to believe she wasn't actually being sarcastic o.O just drunk. It's actually quite funny...

September 26, 2009 11:03:12 PM (+3 hours for NY time), Steph Lee writes: Dambit...dre found a hottie for you. Shell preteem shess younger than 29. Hahahaha

September 26, 2009 11:22:38 PM (+3 hours for NY time), Steph Lee writes: Pretends I mean ..my key board is broke

September 26, 2009 11:33:57 PM (+3 hours for NY time), Steph Lee writes: We like to keep options opeen. Dre says? " Cougars Rock!!!" hahahahah

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Keep in mind my sister and her friend Andrea (a.k.a. Dre) are 29 years old.....pushing thirty. Talk about cradle robbing!

The importance of follow-through

You're only as good as your word. If you say you're going to do something, than it is very important to follow-though on those words with actions. I believe that a person's character can be described by their repeated actions, or in some cases, lack there of. It can be really annoying when people say that they're going to do something, and they don't. It is even more annoying when this is an ongoing act of disregard and utter display of unreliability. After time, I've come to realize that it's just best to take these peoples' words very lightly - with the slightest grain of salt. When people consistently fail to follow-through with things they say they will do, I can't help but to chuckle or smirk every time they vehemently promise something. I'll believe it when I see it. At the end of the day, you can't expect anything from people whom you regard in this way.

EYEBROWS

I'm obsessed with eyebrows.

staring game

Do you ever get the feeling that everyone is staring at you? I do. Usually, when I get that feeling, two things immediately come to mind - 1) WTF?! Do I have something on my face or something? Is my skirt tucked into my panties? Did a bird just shit in my hair without me knowing? Why is everyone looking at me....? 2) Damn, do I look that good today? I must look super cute or something. Yeah, you like my outfit, huh?! That's right...I know I look good.

Okay.......not those exact thoughts, per say, but - you get the idea.

I just came back from Safeway, and I SWEAR everyone kept looking at me. I felt it. At first, I thought WTF? Is something on my shirt or something? But then, I came home and looked in the mirror and saw that I looked normal - my hair wasn't jacked-up, my clothes were all in-tact. So I began to think, hmmm, maybe I was just lookin' exceptionally good today. HAHA! Yessss...

You know what is funny? When a guy tries to subtly check you out....but you totally know that they're being sleazy and gross. So you're walking toward them, on the street, for example, and they're facing you/looking in your general direction. And oh boy, can you spot these suckers out. They'll suddenly turn around and face the other direction.....just slightly before you are about to pass them by. This way, they can check out your ass without it seeming like they turned around to....well, check out your ass. I'm telling you, I've got eagle eyes. I must have a 6th sense.

On a side note --

Derek seems to think that I have the African Sleeping Sickness -.- IDIOT!

Summer in Santa Cruz......and more feasting.

After 10 grueling weeks of summer session, I can finally just relax. I have been living in my swimsuit - going to the beach and laying out pretty much every day. And, as you have seen, I've been eating like a queen. Feast upon feast, I am slowly but surely gaining all of the weight I lost earlier.

Before I went to UC Santa Cruz, I thought that all Santa Cruz had to offer was the boardwalk. I mean, what else is here? I thought that pretty much summed up the entire city. But lately, I've found that I have become somewhat of a local - hitting up all of the best spots in town that tourists rarely ever hear about. If you ever roll by SC, here a few places that are worth checking out:

FOOD:

• Café Brasil (order the açaí bowl, banana pancakes, and anything creative - be prepared for a long wait to be seated...I'd say it's apart if the experience)
• Emily's Bakery (hands down - the best croissants ever...I like the plain croissant and the ham and cheese. If you're a fan of chocolate, that one is good, too)
• Marini's (I looove getting caramel apples dipped in peanuts here!)
• Cole's BBQ (HIGHLY recommended, but only come here if you are hungry)
• Café Palomar (order the steak nachos to-go and sit outside by the beach)
• The Crow's Nest (if you come here during awk-hours, like around 3-4pm, all appetizers are half-off)
• The Crépe Place (BIGGEST strawberry crépe I've ever had)
• The Buttery (haven't tried this place out yet, but I've never heard a negative thing about this place...apparently, they have the best tarts, breads, and sandwiches)
• Charlie Hong Kong (just don't order the chow mein)
• Chocolat (such a good dessert menu...so good)
• Sushi Totoro (not as good as SF sushi, but it's the best SC's got)
• Oswalds (fancier, but every one raves about this place)
• Betty's Burgers (local fav)
• Thai Noodle House (I personally like this place better than the more popular, Saibeng)
• Marianne's Ice Cream (kind of like SC's version of Mitchell's Ice Cream)
• Zachary's (GREAT for breakfast, and reasonably priced)
• Zoccoli's (cute little deli located downtown)
• Kianti's (big portions, good if you're craving Italian)
• Taqueria Los Pericos (cutty and cheap...just like a taqueria should be)

PLACES:

• The Red Room (huge bar/lounge that is always packed)
• Twin Lakes Beach/The Harbor (right by Café Palomar...if you're here, get the nachos!)
• Natural Bridges Beach (never too crowded and free street parking)
• Pogonip Trail (must take this to get to the next "place")
• The "rope swing"/Garden of Eden (great experience...must go on a nice, sunny day)
• Tree 9 (I haven't made it to the very top myself)
• Westcliff Drive (BEAUTIFUL view & a must see...paths that lead to tide pools)
• The Porter Caves (a fun adventure, but be sure to wear clothes that you don't mind getting dirty...and bring flashlights)
• The Mystery Spot (I, too, need to check this place out.....I believe it's only $6 for admissions)

Notice how my "FOOD" list is so long. Haha!

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER FEAST...RIGHT?

FEAST #3

Appetizer - Andrew's homemade guac/salsa. It had a slight kick to it, and oh was it good...

Barbeque chicken, marinated in what else? Why, soy sauce and black pepper, of course.

Andrew sautéing padrón peppers. He interns at the Meder Street Farm (which I got to tour that day) and padróns are their specialty. They go for $4 a basket at the Wednesday farmer's market downtown, but he gets them for free in exchange for his hard work helping out at the farm! You just have sauté them in a little bit of olive oil and sea salt - they're not spicy or anything, but MMM are they good!

Violetta prepared the avocado, tomato, nectarine salad. I love how it's so colorful!

Derek and I made the cheesy scalloped potatoes. They were our first time making them, but the dish was a hit. We used this recipe I got from my Program In Community & Agroecology (PICA) class last year.

The plate: BEFORE/pre-devouring, and trust me...I had seconds...........and thirds, fourths, and fifths.

The gorgeous bouquet of flowers that Violetta hand-picked from Andrew's farm. So pretty!!!

The plate: AFTER, and 5,000 calories later.....ugh, so worth it.

After days and days of UTTER FEASTAGE, I decided I needed to go on a bodily cleanse......maybe lay low on the food consumption for a while.

However, I couldn't resort to total starvation. I've stretched my stomach out way too much to not eat....(it's too soon for that).........HAHA! So, I decided to use up the ingredients I had in my kitchen and whip-up my first attempt at meat loaf.

Here it is before I put it in the oven and before I put the marinara sauce on top. I didn't exactly follow the recipe, because it asks you to grate the vegetables, but I chopped them instead. I used ground turkey and chopped zucchini, mushrooms, carrots, onions, and cilantro.

Oh yeah, I kiiiiiind of made deviled eggs, too. I couldn't cut off the feasting cold-turkey!!! It has got to be a process..... =)

The final product. The meatloaf was so-so...I would have liked it to be a bit more crisp up on the top. I think I'll tweak the recipe a bit next time around. The deviled eggs were delicious, though.

I hope you enjoyed all of this talk about food.......and I hope it inspires you to go out and cook on your own, too! Bon appétit!!!

TOP CHEF: College Edition

Honestly --- if there was a Top Chef: College Edition, we'd take the cake (so to speak).

FEASTING...........

FEAST #1

Vegetable skewers in soy sauce & black pepper marinade - zucchini, peppers, mushrooms, squash, & red onions

Turkey cheese burger on garlic sourdough bread with grilled onions, pesto, and mango salsa (and yes, the pesto and mango salsa were homemade)

We also made deviled eggs for our appetizer, which were to die for, but unfortunately we devoured them before I remembered to take a photograph of them.

FEAST #2

Elena's baby.......finished apple pie, ready to be baked!

Dinner party! Classy, right? If you pay close attention, you will notice that we're eating on top of a beer pong table. Haha!

Nectarine, tomato, and walnut salad. Baguette with dip. Breaded eggplant and zucchini. Pesto pasta with chicken and apple sausage, shrimp, and zucchini - topped with freshly grated parmesan cheese. Sangria and red wine.

Cheers! "TO FOOD!"

Waiting for the pie to bake.......

And for dessert........apple pie à la mode.

I love the sense of intimacy that goes into preparing your own meal - creating it from start to finish, and then sharing it with the ones you love. Food truly brings people together.

SLEEPING DISORDER

I am constantly tired...always falling asleep.

I've fallen asleep at:

1) Lou's party - living room floor
2) The backseat of Tony's car - head face-planted on the front middle divide
3) The club - "Just give me 10 minutes..."
4) Comedy Jam - Cedric the Entertainer and Carlos Mencia...I saw NOT

There are so many more examples of the embarrassing result of my disorder. I can't go through a movie without falling asleep. It's even gotten to the point where people take bets on what time I'm going to pass-out at parties. It's official - I'm K.O. Queen.

I've purchased caffeine pills to alleviate some of the effects of taking on this title.........who knew I would have gone through an entire bottle of NoDoz in less than half a year....

What do I have!? A hormonal imbalance, maybe? Cellular irregularity? Somebody tell me so that I can treat this condition...!!!

A quick look-book of my cookbook

Now that summer session has finally ended, and my summer has finally begun (as all my friends begin their first day of classes)...I have all of this free time to cook. A few years ago, I was in this same predicament. I still had a month full of summer, but all of my friends had already left for school. So, everyday, I would go to Border's and read, drive to Trader Joe's to pick up some groceries, and head back home too cook. I guess it's that time of the year again.......

Turkey, bacon, avocado sandwich / seasoned asparagus / freshly cut tomato half / milk

Toast with pesto / Fresh greens salad with seasoned asparagus, tomatoes, hearts of palm, chopped onions, and herb and basil dressing

Angel hair pasta cooked in herb and basil dressing, butter, salt, and pepper - topped with tomatoes / breaded eggplant / ice water

YUMMY, right? More to come........I want to try out a bunch of new recipes. Particularly, curried quinoa and tapioca pudding dessert!

JK, J play

My roommate is awesome! We have totally different decorative styles...it's kind of funny. I'm much more of a simplistic "less is more" person. Remember those pictures of my room a few posts back? Imagine that room....on TAPESTRY STEROIDS! In fact, Khara just asked me where she should hang her string of Mexican prayer flags. "Hmm, those would look great outside by the deck, don't you think?!" I suggested. HAHA! I think she got my drift, as she opted out of hanging them up at all. Her style of decorating is very "Santa Cruz"...which, I don't particularly care for. It's so cliché, out here. I can't help but to think - did I miss the memo on the buy one, get one free mega-sale on last season's tapestry, or what?

All jokes aside, these things don't particularly bother me at all...I'm pretty easy going. But, there's this one piece of cloth that drapes over our closet door that makes me think of the K.K.K./a cult-like figure every time I look at it. Kind of creepy...I think I'll change the draping when she goes back home tomorrow.

Here's to my first roomy, EVER!

Maybe having a roommate wasn't such a good idea.

I hate anal bitches.

I have to stay up all night during finals week to clean my room, because my roommate is coming to Santa Cruz either tomorrow or the day after.......and she's one of those people. You know, the neat freaks - key word being freak.

I hate having a roommate and I haven't even lived with her yet, especially since it means I have to clean against my will.........

F. M. L.

For all of you that know me, you know that my dad was mad at me 99.9% of my high school life due to our differing views on how to maintain a room. "It looks like a tornado was in here! Oh my God!" he used to scream when he saw the piles of clothing that covered my carpet floor. He used to use the old "you can't go out until you've finished cleaning your room" routine. UGH. He got pretty pissed when he found out I was taking things from the floor, dumping them in large plastic trash bags, and hiding them in my closet........I guess you can only get away with so many 5-minute quick fixes before people start questioning your practices. =/

Times are rough.......

Times are rough.......and I am broke. Which means, I am in no position to be spending $70 dollars on a haircut. After much debate on whether I should go to my usual stylist, Crisby, who I have total trust in vs. a hair salon in Santa Cruz for about half the price, I decided that, for once, I'd chose the more economical route. After all was said and done, though, I don't think I would have made the same decision. HAHA! Anywho, here it is...FINALLY! It just had to be done.

MY NEW FUCKIN' HAIRCUT!!!

what the fuck

It's officially been a week since I told my dad that I was going to get a car. It's officially been a week since he hasn't replied.

My brother IM'd me today...

him: are you home?

me: no

him: so you're getting a new car?

me: i already got one ya

him: What

me: [sign-off]

I refuse to let my brother become an outlet of information for everyone else. If my dad wants to know how I'm doing, where I am, or what kind of car I got...he can ask me himself.

**UPDATE**

My brother just texted me "what car did you get" and I had to reply.......hah, so much for being assertive.

Maybe I'm a chef after all...

A couple of weeks ago, Derek, Andrew (Derek's housemate), and I had our "food night" together. Food night is basically our occasional "family" dinner, in which we cook and feast together. That particular weeks dish - fajitas (or as we like to pronounce them, faj-eye-tas). Andrew just bought a brand new food processor - I'm talking the Rolls-Royce of food processors. Excited to test it out, he volunteered to make the salsa & guac. Ed, Derek's other housemate, already had an economy-sized bag of tortillas and Derek had tomatoes & onions. I provided the meat (steak and chicken), which I had just purchased from Safeway. So we started to cook, and everything was beginning to come together fabulously. I was doing the chopping, Andrew was doing the food-processing, and Derek was grilling the meat. The aroma that filled the air was downright making my mouth water! As I finished chopping up the vegetables, I decided that I wanted to do something more fun, more EXTREME...none of this pussy shit! So, I started heading towards the grilled chicken. Derek's eyes must have enlarged 3x their normal size O.O as he watched my every move.......he said that he was in the charge of the chicken, I pouted, and he reluctantly let me flip a damn breast. Then, he had the audacity to tell me to go heat up some tortillas?!?!??! Oh hell no. Wait, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I just buy all of this meat for us? How are you going to tell me that I can't touch it!? The nerve...

So, fast forward to the recent past (yesterday). I went over to Derek's house for dinner. This wasn't for a food night, no...food night's are feasts. It was just a regular ol' dinner, but I jokingly offered my services and playfully asked if I could cook the fish. Now, I was really thinking, HAHAHAHAHA yeah right, he's not going to let me screw that up. But I was shocked when he agreed. "Oh, shit...," I thought. Here's my time to prove myself - prove that I can cook. SO MUCH PRESSURE. It was as if he was testing me, and if I failed, I would be deemed official "tortilla-heater" for the rest of my life... -.- With my palms sweating, the pressure was felt, but I was ready to rise to the occasion. I whipped out my handy dandy MacBook Air, Googled 'tilapia recipes', and clicked on the first link that appeared on the list. The link was titled Best Tilapia Recipes - Top 20 Tilapia Recipes. I picked a tasty sounding, easy looking recipe from the list. The recipe turned out to be phenomenal! I loved it. Andrew tried some - he loved it. And most importantly, Derek loved it! YES! I knew it had been a success when the first utterence that came out of his mouth, just upon taking the first bite, was...MMMMMM. Glorious.

Here's the recipe:

INGREDIENTS

• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 3 tablespoons mayonnaise
• 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/8 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/8 teaspoon celery salt
• 2 pounds tilapia fillets

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat your oven's broiler. Grease a broiling pan or line pan with aluminum foil.
2. In a small bowl, mix together the Parmesan cheese, butter, mayonnaise and lemon juice. Season with dried basil, pepper, onion powder and celery salt. Mix well and set aside.
3. Arrange fillets in a single layer on the prepared pan. Broil a few inches from the heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip the fillets over and broil for a couple more minutes. Remove the fillets from the oven and cover them with the Parmesan cheese mixture on the top side. Broil for 2 more minutes or until the topping is browned and fish flakes easily with a fork. Be careful not to over cook the fish.

Enjoy!!!

Oh, and to go off on a slight tangent, I WORKED OUT TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE APRIL!!!!!!!!!! I was going to run on this trail behind my house, but I went to the campus gym instead, because just as I was about to open the gate that leads to the path.....I walked into a fat spider web! Uhhhh, this is the second time this has happened to me. The first occurrence happened when I was talking on the phone with my mom. I had to go outside to get better reception, and before I knew it, AHHHH AHHH EW EW EW AHHH EW, I walked right into a huge spider web. Gross.

Take a look at my thunder thighs:

They don't even fit in a single frame!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!

HURRCUT

I've been saying this since January (and normally I wouldn't remember the specific month, but in this case, it was around the time of my birthday), but I need a haircut. I suppose, in January, I didn't so much need a haircut as much as I so wanted one. I mean, my hair barely brushed below my chin (at the time). But now...now, I need a haircut.

A little over a year ago, I had been consumed by this sudden burst of spontaneity and need for change; so, I got a haircut. I'm talking the cut of cuts...none of this half-inch trim business that I was so used to. Now normally, I just go to any old salon down the block from my house. If you've ever walked along Irving, you know that about every 2 stores resides a typical Asian hair & nail salon - perfect for me, however, because I would literally get up some mornings, decide I needed a trim, and walk 1, 2, maybe 3 blocks max. into the most decent, empty looking hair salon available. I am very impatient, so I don't believe in waiting.....which is funny, in hindsight, because, like the commonly used "never eat at an empty restaurant" rule, an empty salon should probably raise some red flags (i.e. - EMPTY, NO GOOD, DON'T GO IN). Oops, oh well...

I decided, if I was going to go short (for the first time since the 4th grade), I had better do my research. So, of course, I YELPed it! Upon hours and hours among days and days of research, I finally came to the conclusion that I was going to go to Crisby at Moxie Parlour. I took the N Judah, got off at Duboce, and walked into the salon. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous. Crisby was great and about an hour later...I went from:

this

to THIS!!!

So now, 1+ years later, I have this oh so familiar sudden urge of spontaneity once again! Yup, it's time for change. Only this time, I want to go long. One problem, hair takes time to grow (1/2 an inch a month, to be exact). As I said earlier, I'm impatient. If I want something, I want it now! This time, I turned to Google for help, typing in things along the lines of 'how to grow out hair fast' in the search box. With that, I discovered the 2 following things that help stimulate hair growth:

1) HORSE SHAMPOO

&

2) BIOTIN

Desperate, ready, and willing to pay for anything that would buy me less time in the hair growth process (which by the way is extremely AWKWARD), I was ready to make some investments. The following products are a mere result of my "If I want something, I want it now" impatient personality:

For the horse shampoo, I purchased Mane 'n Tail shampoo and conditioner from Safeway.

For the Biotin, I purchased Irwin Naturals Healthy Hair & Skin plus Nails from the local Staff of Life.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the pills. I'm actually out...I need to pick up some more. As far as hair growth goes, I don't think they do much. However, I have noticed an improvement in the growth of my nails, the shine of my hair, and the complexion of my skin. Winner! The shampoo, on the other hand, does nothing to improve my hair growth and lacks the fruity scent that I look for in any hair care product.

JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH, APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY, AUGUST......a total of 8 months that I have had to restrain myself from going to the salon and chopping off my hair in all of its awkward LOBness (Long-bob.........ness). But, the time has finally come. I can no longer stand my nappy roots. I tie up my hair every single day. I even carry a pair of scissors in my backpack so that I have a pair readily available to use at any given time that I see a (*gasp*) split end. In the mean time, I have come up with a couple of cool ways to put up my hair. Here's my latest updo...

I'm sooooo ethnic.

**UPDATE**

I just came back from the weekly downtown Santa Cruz farmer's market, and let me tell you...

I've never seen so many people with dreads and head wraps within a single half-block radius. Needless to say, I fit right in.

Acoustic

Lately, I've been really into searching acoustic versions of my favorite songs on YouTube. I thought I'd share some of my favorites:

Outkast - Hey Ya (cover)

Justin Nozuka - After Tonight (cover)

Justin Timberlake - Take It From Here (cover)

The Dream - Shawty is a 10 (covers)

Digital Tour

So. on a lighter note from my last post, I got into thinking about homes and I realized - my house is pretty sick this year. Let me give you a digital tour of my new place.......

The House! Located at the end of a cul-de-sac, walking distance to the base of campus.

This is the bedroom. Not fully decorated yet. Currently, I'm living here by myself. Talk about a mega-single. My roommate, Khara, moves in late September (when school starts).

This is where I get my study on. I'm currently using a wood stool as a chair... I need to upgrade to, well, a chair. Haha!

My bed!!! It's the most comfortable thing ever. I got the box spring and metal frame off of Craigslist, the mattress from the street. Talk about broke college student. The sheets/comforter are the finest though - thanks mom, thanks dad! Ain't she a beauty? Full size, and a definite upgrade from sleeping on a twin mattress (ON THE FLOOR) all of last year...

The walk-in closet. You can fit a mattress in this thing. I love it...I can hang everything! Shit, I can even hang my socks and underwear if I wanted to...

This is the bathroom. Actually, the sink, really. It's an odd shaped bathroom, so it's hard to take a photo of it in its entirety.

Our kitchen. There are two kitchens in the house. This one is for me and Khara. There's a sliding glass door to the right of the stove that leads to...

THE BACKYARD!!!!!!

When you walk up the steps, you will soon be on...

the deck! And yes, we finna 'que up in dis betch.

I hope you enjoyed the digital tour. Come visit me soon! As you can see, there's plenty of room for you to stay, and I would love to have your company! Until next time...peace.

homeless

Homeless. To have no home. Not in the literal sense, but in the spiritual sense, I have no home. I don't have a place to call my home. This place doesn't exist.

My brother and I have never been close. Fact. Take it for what it is. It is just the way it's always been. But, lately, I've been feeling that the relationships I've had with my dad and my sister are suddenly fading away as well. I don't even go to my house in SF, because I want to avoid seeing them. I know that it's just going to be uncomfortable and unpleasant, and why would I want to put myself in that situation?

My dad is never home. He never cooks dinner anymore (when I was little, we had family dinners everyday). My brother and I don't talk. My sister and I don't get along. I have nothing to go home to anymore. I realize this, and it's really made me a bitter person. I hate the fact that I feel this way. I don't even go to my weekly Sunday dinners because it, and that makes me even more depressed, because, quite frankly, I miss seeing my grandparents. They are getting old and I want to see them as much as I can, but I haven't in a while. Anger....guilt...sadness....ugh, I feel them all.

Recently, my mom just got me a new car. I know that this will only make my dad angry. Yeah, it's complicated. But deep down, as much as I understand where his anger stems from, it pisses me off that he can't even FAKE being happy for me. I told him about the news on Friday....it's almost Monday and he still hasn't responded to me. He ALWAYS has his phone on him. I know he got the message.

My dad makes no effort to get to know me. He doesn't know me. He gets mad at me for not being truthful with him, not telling him certain things and not being open with him. But he makes it really hard to do these things. He is so opinionated and close-minded - so judgmental. With him, there's no room for debate, no room for compromise. It's his way or the highway.

I have a hard time swallowing the concept of his train of thought. I don't understand it. I don't even bother talking to him half the time...I don't bother trying to reason with him...trying to explain my side of the story and why I chose to do the things I've done. I don't bother. Our conversations are less of a dialogue, more like a monologue. He talks, I bite my tongue. He's so irrational; I've grown tired of fighting it. So much so, that I've suddenly become...homeless.

American Girl

Lately, I've been getting comments from people, saying that I look thinner/lost weight. During one of my weekly Sunday brunches with the moms, she had said that I "looked good" and I "got smaller." She noticed that my cheeks even got smaller and that before, I used to be a little bit "extra." EXTRA? Thank mom.... My mom went so far as to ask me if I weighed 100lbs (HAH!). Um, mom, you are like 112lbs and I'm bigger than you...where's the logic in that???! My mom is so funny. That week when I went to Aditi's house for Bollywood Night, she kept commenting on how thin I was (I think it was just a flattering shirt). When I went up to Healdsburg, the first thing Steph said to me was, "Dee, you're tiny!" Throughout the entire night, Steph and Ang kept commenting on how I had definitely lost weight. Daniel even agreed. In a way, Derek even commented on my "weight loss".......kind of. "Did your boobs get smaller?" he has recently asked. 0.O I don't think so.........HAHA!

Want to know how I lost weight? I was sick for two weeks of my life...on a tea, soup, and cough drop diet.

So now I ask myself, why workout? All those years paying gym membership fees to get fit and lose the "extra" (as my mom would put it)...when, really, the secret to all weight loss is clear. STARVATION is the key! So sad......

COLDPLAY!

WHAT: COLDPLAY CONCERT

(hold on, my mom just called me to go to dinner.... T.B.C. lol!) -.-

Okay...I'm back. My mom made me go keep my aunt and her company for dinner since I was in Chinatown. I literally JUST ate, so I wasn't planning on eating...but we ate at Cafe Jacqueline and I couldn't resist. 1,000+ unnecessary calories later...................

What: COLDPLAY!!!

Where: Shoreline in Mountain View, CA

Date: July 13, 2009

Who: Me, Derek, Shannon, Cary, Annie, Tony w/ appearances made by Stephen Hom & Helene

So, my love for Coldplay is HUGE. They literally don't have a song that I do not like. I actually saw this same tour last summer at HP Pavillion. Haha! Except last time, I paid $100 more for crappy tix (last minute/spur of the moment decision 3 days prior to the concert). The seats were ON THE FLOOR....but in the back. I couldn't see shit. -.- Whatever, it's about the music right? Yes and no. The live presence of the band is well worth seeing.

When I found out that Coldplay, yes COLDPLAY, was going to perform at Shoreline...I HAD to get tickets. I think I bought tickets 6-7 months prior to the show......before I knew my summer schedule. Whatever class/event/work I had to do could either 1) wait 2) work around Coldplay 3) suck it! - nothing gets in the way of me & my fav. band!

I wanted to get to Shoreline 2 hrs before the show started...so I picked up Derek and we were on Highway 17 when he posed the simple question, "Do you have your ticket?" My face went went from =D excited to get to the show to LKJFLKSDJFLSFJKKSFJLSJLKSFJSLDFJL (if you can imagine a facial expression for that). UGH! How the fuck did I forget my damn ticket?????? I was so pissed. So I had to go back and get it. Needless to say, I drove like I was going for a crack run.

Because I had seen the Coldplay show prior, I was 100% sure they weren't going play Green Eyes. So the whole car ride and the whole time before they came on, I kept repeating the fact that I wish they would play Green Eyes but I know they won't........

Well guess fucking what.

In the middle of Coldplay's set...they perform ON THE LAWN like 10-20ft away from my FACE and start playing GREEN EYES. LIFE=COMPLETE. Of course Derek & I had a major cupcake moment. Duh. It gets better........BILLY JEAN ACOUSTIC. Whaaaaaaat?! Amazing...... you can just call me Denise Monica Martin. Thank you.

They gave out a free CD of a few live selections...needless to say, I haven't been listening to anything else since. Oh, and I will never forget the cellphone WAVE...very cool.